thoughts from the dark side
So, I recently read "The five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. Kinda got me thinking. Who would I meet, when I got there. I guess the one person I think it might be, is the guy who crashed into me, and nearly killed me a few years ago. I've always held outright blame for him, he was speeding, in bad weather, and lost control of his sports car. He didn't know how to handle it properly. We think. But what if, there were other factors that we don't know about. Perhaps he swerved to avoid something, a small animal in the dark. Perhaps he'd just had an argument with someone, and his mind wasn't completely on the driving and the road conditions. Perhaps he'd just had some really bad news. (Well guess what mister, can't have been half as bad as the news my family got that night.) Or perhaps he was just driving like an asshole.
When it first happened, I didn't wish him any ill. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anybody. But as time went on, and it took longer to recover, and I had to go back into hospital again and again, that started to change. It's not that I want to cause him pain or anything, I just want him to know what the consequences of his actions were that night. He has no idea what me and my family have been through. Sometimes I've wanted to go round there and smash his face in, (we have friends who offered......), and sometimes I just want to tell him, make sure he understands, and be certain that he doesn't drive like that anymore.
Of course, as my dad quite rightly pointed out, he may already be feeling the affects of his part in what happened that night. Maybe he has nightmares. Maybe he has a panic attack everytime he gets behind the wheel of a car. Maybe he is a safer, more concientious driver. I'd like to ask him one day, I'd like to know. I'd like to know if he's sorry for what he did. I'd like him to know what he did to me, not because I want to hear an apology, but to make sure it doesn't happen again.
We know he caused the accident, the police told us. Well, not me, I was unconcious at the time, but they told my family, at the hospital. They were certain he had been speeding, but they couldn't prove it. The weather conditions meant that any evidence on the road surface had been washed away. But they were still certain. He was eventually fined (£270) and got 8 points on his licence. Of course, if he had killed me, he would have lost his licence, but thanks to the fire brigade, ambulance service, police and staff at the hospital, I'm still here.
Of course, there'll be compensation eventually, later this year we think, but there never can be any kind of compensation that gives you back three years of your life. Thats what I feel I've lost, sometimes. Which of course I haven't really, I've still done things, spent time with people, lived, but not in the way I would have been able to had I not been injured.
So apart from him (I know his name), I don't know who else would be one of the 5. I guess one of the points made by the book, is that people you may not even have met, can have an impact on your life, so the other 4 could be people I don't even know. Or may be they are people I will have known, but not realised the impact they had on my life. It's all about split second consequences, how what you do impacts on others, and what they do impacts on you, without you knowing.
The book is just one theory on life after death, and not that I'm a huge believer or anything, but it made me think.
Perhaps too much.
When it first happened, I didn't wish him any ill. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anybody. But as time went on, and it took longer to recover, and I had to go back into hospital again and again, that started to change. It's not that I want to cause him pain or anything, I just want him to know what the consequences of his actions were that night. He has no idea what me and my family have been through. Sometimes I've wanted to go round there and smash his face in, (we have friends who offered......), and sometimes I just want to tell him, make sure he understands, and be certain that he doesn't drive like that anymore.
Of course, as my dad quite rightly pointed out, he may already be feeling the affects of his part in what happened that night. Maybe he has nightmares. Maybe he has a panic attack everytime he gets behind the wheel of a car. Maybe he is a safer, more concientious driver. I'd like to ask him one day, I'd like to know. I'd like to know if he's sorry for what he did. I'd like him to know what he did to me, not because I want to hear an apology, but to make sure it doesn't happen again.
We know he caused the accident, the police told us. Well, not me, I was unconcious at the time, but they told my family, at the hospital. They were certain he had been speeding, but they couldn't prove it. The weather conditions meant that any evidence on the road surface had been washed away. But they were still certain. He was eventually fined (£270) and got 8 points on his licence. Of course, if he had killed me, he would have lost his licence, but thanks to the fire brigade, ambulance service, police and staff at the hospital, I'm still here.
Of course, there'll be compensation eventually, later this year we think, but there never can be any kind of compensation that gives you back three years of your life. Thats what I feel I've lost, sometimes. Which of course I haven't really, I've still done things, spent time with people, lived, but not in the way I would have been able to had I not been injured.
So apart from him (I know his name), I don't know who else would be one of the 5. I guess one of the points made by the book, is that people you may not even have met, can have an impact on your life, so the other 4 could be people I don't even know. Or may be they are people I will have known, but not realised the impact they had on my life. It's all about split second consequences, how what you do impacts on others, and what they do impacts on you, without you knowing.
The book is just one theory on life after death, and not that I'm a huge believer or anything, but it made me think.
Perhaps too much.
posted by gingesmissus at 1:13 PM
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